Leehigh, Lineacre and Ulloa

6 Oct

Saturday 5th October 2013

Brighton and Hove Albion           1.3          Nottingham Forest

(Crofts)                                                             (Lansbury 2, Henderson)

The world of football punditry is littered with casualties of both the mispronunciation and the over accentuated pronunciation.

Who can forget Mick Channon’s West Country drawl forever ensuring that everyone’s favourite Match of the Day presenter will forever be associated with Lines and acres? Of course, since the heady days of Channon, the situation has been exacerbated by the influx of those pesky foreigners lining their pockets with our hard earned wages, coming over here and…whatever. But it seems to me that the modern pundit simply tries too hard: take Brighton striker Leonardo Ulloa, whose long term absence through injury seemed to dominate today’s game. Now, to my untrained eyes, this is a fairly straightforward name to pronounce but this doesn’t prevent certain people tripping themselves up in desperation to implement a South American inflection and thus refer to him as Ujjoa. I’m not convinced and neither is Wikipedia which does not feel the need to add pronunciation guidance in the form of a bracketed phonetic pronunciation after Ulloa. [1]

This is an affliction that is not limited to Ujjoa (Pron. Ulloa) though. Eric Lichaj is not only causing opposition defences concern with his marauding right wing runs but the good folk of Nottingham too. Leehigh? Leehaj? And lest we forget that Radoslaw Majewski’s name still doesn’t seem any easier to get your tongue round despite him wearing the red shirt for 4 years now.

It’s a good job that Uggoa (pron. Ulloa) was ruled out today though since he can be added to the ever growing list of players who always seem to score against us. As it was, normal service seemed to be resumed with the recording of a well-earned away victory, the type of which was, frankly, a little bit of a surprise given our recent away performances. All of this despite the unusual kick off time of 5.30, owing to the annual Brighton Breeze VW camper van event: more of which later.

So, an excellent win that means we have collected 4 points from 2 away games, we have maintained our record of scoring in every game so far and the ‘goals for’ column continues to look healthy. All this, despite the lack of a 20 goal a season striker. All we need now is an international break next weekend to interrupt our run…

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Incidentally, speaking of VW camper vans: http://vwcampert25clubjokerforsale.wordpress.com/

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That ‘Fight Club’ copyright message in full:

The warning at the beginning of the DVD, after the copyright warnings reads: WARNING If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you’re supposed to read? Do you think everything you’re supposed to think? Buy what you’re told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned…… Tyler


[1] I fully realise the weakness of my argument here in that I appear to be referring to Wikipedia as a font of all knowledge. However, it does show that I’ve fully researched this topic in minute detail and besides, a footnote always lends a certain kind of credence and authority that it is otherwise missing from such amateur football blog pieces like this. Besides, I am easily impressed by numerous footnotes in any academic article, of which I rarely read but whatever, you’ve probably stopped reading this by now in despair so I can pretty much write anything I want here, much like that opening to ‘Fight Club’ in which what seems like a generic copyright warning is in fact a manifesto for questioning the dysfunctional society in which we live. As you were.

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